My Ex Is Trying to Bully Me Into a Financial Agreement – What Can I Do?

Divorce and financial negotiations can be emotionally exhausting, particularly where one person attempts to pressure, intimidate, or bully the other into accepting an agreement quickly.

It is not uncommon for separating spouses to feel overwhelmed by demands, threats about legal costs, pressure to “just sign”, or repeated claims that an offer is “the best you will get”. In some cases, one party may use financial control, aggressive communication, or emotional pressure to try to force an outcome in their favour.

If this is happening, it is important to understand one key point: you do not have to agree to a financial settlement simply because your ex wants you to.

Financial settlements

In England and Wales, financial settlements following divorce should be fair and based on full financial disclosure from both parties. The court expects both individuals to have the opportunity to understand the finances properly, obtain legal advice, and negotiate freely without undue pressure.

Rushing into an agreement without  legal advice and therefore without fully understanding the long-term consequences can be extremely risky. Financial settlements deal with important assets such as the family home, pensions, savings, businesses, debts, and future income. Once an agreement is formalised in a court order, it can be very difficult to change later.

Bullying behaviour can take many forms. Sometimes it is obvious, such as threats, intimidation, or harassment. In other cases, it can be more subtle — for example, one party insisting there is “no point” obtaining legal advice, setting unrealistic deadlines, refusing proper disclosure, or making the other person feel guilty for wanting time to consider proposals carefully.

Where there is a history of controlling or coercive behaviour during the relationship, these dynamics can often continue throughout the divorce process.

How legal advice can help

Seeking independent legal advice can help restore balance and ensure your interests are properly protected. A solicitor can advise whether proposals are fair, request full financial disclosure where necessary, and communicate with your ex or their solicitors on your behalf. This can significantly reduce the pressure many people feel during negotiations.

It is also important to remember that court proceedings exist for situations where agreements cannot be reached fairly. While many cases settle outside of court, the court process is designed to ensure both parties have access to information and that outcomes are assessed objectively.

The court will not simply approve an agreement because one party was more forceful or financially dominant. Fairness remains the central consideration.

If you are feeling pressured into accepting a financial settlement, taking time to obtain advice and understand your legal position is not being difficult or unreasonable — it is protecting your future.

Peace of mind

Divorce can already feel uncertain and stressful. Ensuring that any financial agreement is reached properly, voluntarily, and with full understanding can provide greater long-term security and peace of mind.

If you find yourself in a situation such as this, do not hesitate to contact the Family team at Browell Smith and Co on 0191 691 3418 or request a callback.

Why Pensions Are Considered a Matrimonial Asset in Divorce

When people think about finances during divorce, they often focus on the family home, savings, or bank accounts. However, one of the most valuable assets within a marriage is frequently overlooked — pensions.

In England and Wales, pensions are generally considered a matrimonial asset and can form part of the financial settlement upon divorce. This can sometimes come as a surprise, particularly as a pension is held in only one spouse’s name and because one party built up the pension through their own employment.

The reasoning behind this approach is rooted in fairness and the recognition of how marriages and family life operate in practice.

Not simply future income, an asset

A pension is not simply future income; it is an asset accrued during the course of a relationship, often through joint efforts and shared sacrifices. While one spouse may have physically paid contributions into the pension through employment, the other may have contributed in different but equally important ways.

For example, one party may have reduced their own working hours, paused their career, or taken on the primary responsibility for childcare and running the household. These contributions can directly enable the other spouse to progress professionally, increase earnings, and build pension wealth over time.

The family courts in England and Wales recognise that marriages are economic partnerships. As a result, the law does not solely focus on whose name an asset is in, but rather how and when it was accumulated and the contributions made by both parties throughout the marriage.

Value of pensions

Pensions can also be extremely valuable, sometimes even exceeding the value of the family home. Ignoring pensions during divorce can therefore create significant unfairness, particularly in later life.

A common example is where one spouse leaves the marriage with substantial pension provision while the other has little or none. Without addressing pensions properly during the financial settlement, one party may face serious financial insecurity in retirement despite having contributed fully to the marriage in other ways.

The court’s aim is not always to divide pensions equally, but to achieve overall fairness based on the circumstances of the case. This may involve pension sharing orders, pension offsetting, or pension attachment orders depending on the parties’ finances and future needs.

Importantly, not all pensions are treated identically. In some cases, pension contributions made before the marriage or after separation may be treated differently, particularly in shorter marriages. However, pensions accrued during the relationship are commonly viewed as part of the shared matrimonial assets.

Importance of legal advice

Obtaining accurate pension valuations and specialist legal advice is therefore crucial during divorce proceedings. Pensions are often more complex than other assets, but failing to consider them properly can have long-term financial consequences.

Understanding that pensions represent shared financial security built up during the marriage helps explain why the courts regard them as an important matrimonial asset deserving careful consideration upon divorce. If you require advice and assistance in respect of matrimonial finances please do not hesitate to contact the Family team at Browell Smith and Co on 0191 691 3418.

A stitch in time – taking legal advice early can prevent costly mistakes in respect of matrimonial finances

Over the last decade, the family courts in England and Wales have seen a significant increase in litigants in person (“LiPs”). Individuals are increasingly navigating divorce and financial remedy proceedings without legal representation, often due to the rising cost of legal services and the reduction in legal aid.

While many separating couples believe they can resolve matters amicably without solicitors, an alarming trend has emerged: a growing number are failing to obtain a Financial Remedy Order from the court, leaving them financially exposed long after the divorce itself has been finalised.

The Misunderstanding Around Divorce

One of the most common misconceptions in family law is that once a Final Order (formerly Decree Absolute) is granted, financial claims between spouses automatically come to an end.

They do not.

Financial claims remain open unless they are formally dismissed by a court-approved Financial Remedy Order. This means that even years after a divorce, one party may still be able to bring claims against the other for:

• Property adjustment
• Pension sharing
• Lump sum payments
• Spousal maintenance
• Claims against future assets or inheritance

Many litigants in person are unaware of this critical distinction.

Why Are More People Acting Without Lawyers?

The rise in LiPs has several causes:

Cost of Legal Representation

Family litigation can be expensive, particularly where disputes become protracted. Many individuals believe that they cannot afford ongoing legal fees.

Online Divorce Processes

The digitalisation of divorce applications has made the procedural aspect of divorce appear straightforward. While obtaining a divorce itself may now be simpler administratively, resolving finances remains legally and strategically complex.

Social Media and Informal Advice

There has been an increase in individuals relying on online forums, social media content, or informal agreements drafted without legal advice. Unfortunately, these arrangements are often unenforceable.

The Dangerous Assumption: “We Have Agreed Everything”

A frequent scenario involves separating couples agreeing informally how assets will be divided. They may sell a property, split savings, or decide that neither party wishes to make claims against the other.

However, without a sealed court order:

• The agreement is not legally binding;
• Future claims remain possible;
• Circumstances can change dramatically over time.

An ex-spouse who later experiences financial hardship may decide to pursue claims years after separation. Likewise, if one party later acquires significant wealth, the absence of a clean break order can become extremely problematic.

The Courts Continue to See Post-Divorce Claims

Case law has repeatedly demonstrated the risks of failing to formalise financial arrangements. Former spouses have successfully brought claims many years after divorce where no Financial Remedy Order was made.

Even where parties separated amicably, the absence of legal finality creates uncertainty.

For many individuals, this issue only becomes apparent when:

• they wish to remarry;
• they purchase property;
• they receive inheritance;
• they approach retirement and pensions become relevant.

By that stage, resolving matters can be significantly more costly and contentious.

Why Financial Remedy Orders Matter

A properly drafted Financial Remedy Order provides:

• certainty;
• enforceability;
• protection from future claims;
• clarity regarding pensions, property, and maintenance;
• finality through a clean break where appropriate.

Importantly, the court retains oversight to ensure agreements are fair in all the circumstances of each case.

The Impact on the Family Courts

The increase in litigants in person has also created wider pressures on the justice system.

Judges are frequently required to:

• explain procedure to unrepresented parties;
• manage unrealistic expectations;
• deal with incomplete documentation;
• adjourn hearings where procedural rules have not been followed.

This inevitably increases delay and court time.

At the same time, many LiPs remain unaware that obtaining a Financial Remedy Order can often be achieved by consent without contested litigation, particularly where parties have already reached agreement.

Early Legal Advice Can Prevent Costly Mistakes

Not every divorce requires extensive litigation. However, most cases benefit from at least some specialist legal advice, particularly regarding financial claims and clean break provisions.

Even where parties wish to minimise costs, obtaining advice on:

• disclosure obligations;
• pensions;
• property rights;
• future claims; and
• drafting a consent order and associated documentation

can prevent significant problems and significant costs later.

Conclusion

The rise in litigants in person reflects broader economic and social changes within the family justice system. While many individuals successfully manage aspects of divorce proceedings independently, the failure to secure a Financial Remedy Order remains one of the most serious and common mistakes made after separation.

A divorce may legally end a marriage, but without a court-approved financial order, it rarely ends financial claims.

For separating couples in England and Wales, understanding that distinction is essential.

For advice and assistance do not hesitate to contact the Family team at Browell Smith and Co on 0191 691 3418 or request a callback.